Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Tuesday, Nov. 20th

Agenda: 

Homework was checked for annotations on the short story, Interpreter of Maladies, by Jhumpa Lahiri. Additionally, students were to complete one subsection of each section of the Interpreter worksheet in order to participate in today's discussion.

Only 1a - 1c/d was completed during class. There is much to unpack in the story and we will do so in stages.

Homework: 

Prepare for the next class by commenting below on the following. Feel free to comment by extending the conversation first posed by another classmate by replying to their post:

Identify the cancer in the Das family dynamic? What aspect of their relationship collectively contributes to their lack of health?

23 comments:

  1. I think that the cancer in the Das family dynamic is Mr. Das's shortsightedness and his inability to see things he doesn't want to see. Because he can't see the fact that Mrs. Das doesn't love him anymore, he doesn't really do anything for Mrs. Das like helping her with the children when at home, or anything else like getting her a gift. This makes her feel worse about him, sours her mood, which in turn affects the children as her worsened mood is taken out on them. Through Mr. Das's inability to see the way things are in reality, his entire family is affected.

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  2. The cancer in the Das family is a combination of Mr. Das lack of sight and Mrs. Das indifference of family matters. Through most of the book, Mr. Das cannot see many obvious things that are happening to his family such as Mrs. Das's growing relationship with Mr. Kapasi. In addition to Mr. Das's lack of sight is Mrs. Das lack of interest in the family. Throughout the book she shows little of the qualities that a mother and wife should possess. For example, when her daughter Tina asks for lipstick, Mrs. Das rudely rejects Tina's offer and starts putting lipstick on herself. Because of Mrs. Das lack of care and Mr. Das shortsightedness, the entire Das family is affected.

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  3. I think that the cancer in the Das family is Mr. Das's inability to get involved with his family, especially his wife Mrs. Das. Throughout the book, he is more focused on taking pictures and his guide book than actually experiencing everything and having a good time with his family. He constantly refers to his book and takes pictures of everything, perhaps symbolizing that he is viewing the world through a camera, giving him limited vision of what is happening in his family life. He is to blind to see that there is something wrong in his relationship with Mrs. Das. He thinks everything is perfectly fine, when it is not.

    -Brian Oh

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  4. The cancer that damages the health of the family starts with Mr. Das's inability to see the sorrow and pain Mrs. Das is feeling. This results in Mrs. Das having completely no joy or possessing the mother/wife role. Since they were married at such a young age, it felt to Mrs. Das that she hadn't had a lot "personal" time with her friends. This is one of the main reasons why she relieves her stress toward her children. Also, in a way it seems like a cycle of where Mr. Das has the lack of sight, that results in Mrs. Das having no affectionate love towards her children.

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  5. The relationship of the family within the Interpreter of Maladies can be summed up as an explosion waiting to happen. All of them are distant from each other, and the children don't receive any love from the parents. Mrs. Das in particular is the one ruining the family. The cancer of the family ultimately is their own indifference towards each other. They care so little for each other that it would be more believable if they weren't family members. It's to the point where the most loving relationship is one between brothers, and that's only because they don't hurt each other. The focal point is Mr. and Mrs. Das's relationship. Most families are dysfunctional due to their parents. Their children look up to them, but the parents do not meet their expectations. Mr. Das is doing fine with the children, and is like a guardian. However, Mrs. Das is the one who is flawed. She views herself to be an unfortunate person, but ultimately she is the one who has committed the most hate to this relationship. She cheats on his husband without telling him and harbors guilt, yet doesn't show it. Out of spite, she neglects only Ronny and Tina, while caring for Bobby. I think that Mrs. Das is the biggest cancer in this family because of these flaws; she simply falls short as a mother of these two children. Her infidelity doesn't shame her, and when Mr. Kapasi raises up a good point, she almost hits him. Mrs. Das doesn't recognize her flaws, and never makes an effort to switch her personality. She basically has been disappointed beyond belief, but never tries to make her life better. She doesn't realize the struggles that other people have gone through, and is basically spoiled. That is why I think she is the cancer of this family.

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    1. I believe that the cancer, rather than the focal point of the problem, of the family is the parents' relationship. Like father, like son, people say and the three children of Mr. and Mrs. Das will take after both the parents. For example, Tina tries to impress her mother by attempting to be pretty like her. However, Tina will also take on some of her mother's bad traits as she will look up to her as a role model. And if Tina does, why wouldn't her other two brothers do the same. Why wouldn't they follow in their parents footsteps if they live with them and converse with them and share the same blood with them? The children will become like their parents and their parents' personalities will be passed onto the kids. This is why I believe that the cancer of the family is the parents' relationship.

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    2. Hi Albert,

      I agree with your statement, "The cancer of the family ultimately is their own indifference towards each other." There seems to be a large abyss between what each member desires (e.g. Tina's desire to have her mother's acknowledgement, Mrs. Das' need to have her pain be re-evaluated or interpreted for her so she can re-view her foible also through a 'rose-tinted lense', and Mr. Das's tendency to cling to knowledge in lieu of intimacy, etc.) and their ability to identify the source of their grief and act on it. How like true human nature! Jhumpa Lahiri allows the reader to inspect a family dynamic that has an intense back story, in particular, defined by an insidious, cancerous lie. Although not verbalized, it still takes effect in their daily lives, to the point where task that are by design simple--spend time and enjoy the company of family--becomes a desperate attempt by all parties not to.

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  6. I believe there are a lot of factors that contribute to the cancer, the disease the Das family has. The lack of experience, for example, from Mr. and Mrs., due to them marrying early, effects the knowledge they have in taking care of children, being mentally attached and more mature. However, I believe the ultimate factor that rolls into the previously mentioned factor is the lack of communication. Mr. Das is blind and oblivious to the fact that Mrs. Das isn't the same woman he married a few years ago. He lacks the skills of communication to notice a change in his wife, the person who should be his life partner. Maybe if he had seen the possible changes his wife underwent at that period, a lot of the distance present at this time might've been prevented. Mrs. Das, in return, doesn't make the effort to reach out to her husband and consult him about her fears. The three children, as it is evident in the text, lack communication between each other and their parents. The text rarely shows intense interactivity between the children and shows complete ignorance of the children on the parents part. They could almost be strangers. The family members lack the essence of what a family is. They lack the relationship required to be a family. Though Mrs. Das, unlike Mr.Das, sees the disease, like everyone else she looks externally to find the cure when the cure is within their relationships.

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    1. I completely agree with Hyunna as in that marrying early was a problem for their future family relationships. If they were to take some more time to know each other even better, they might've not liked each other as much, broke up, and married different people that are more suitable for them. However, I think the biggest cancer in the family is the mother. She cheated on her husband quite early into their marriage, doesn't tell Mr. Das about the incident, and that Bobby was not his son. A healthy bond between people rely on trust and honesty. Mrs. Das has skillfully broken both of those standpoints and now miserable with her life. Yet, she seeks to find someone to help her out of it. The rest of the family is perfectly happy with what they have while Mrs. Das is being selfish.

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  7. The whole family is not as a close as a family should be, and the foundation that caused this problem was Mrs. Das' lack of love. She hardly cares about her children, as seen when she often showed annoyance towards her children and thought that they were a nuisance to her. Mrs. Das also distanced herself from Mr. Das, and I believe that he eventually gave up on their relationship. They weren't very caring to each other, as if they had forgotten why they had married at all. However, Mr. Das seems to be in a better state than Mrs. Das, showing love for his children and not being as depressed as Mrs. Das

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  8. The cancer in the Das family that contrubutes to the lack of health is the fact that Mr. Das does not want to connect with his family especially with his wife, Mrs. Das. Mr. Das is unable to see that Mrs. Das is not very satisfied with her relationship. It is evident that Mr. Das is not aware of what kind of life he going through rite now. Mr. Das has a lack of sight which makes him think that things are fine when there is something clearly wrong with his relationship.

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  9. I think that the cancer of the family Das is Mr. Das. In a family, the father has a great role, if not the greatest. He is the image, the model, the protector of the family. He is the one who has to care about his children and most importantly his wife. Unfortunately, Mr. Das doesn't accomplish any of these. He is constantly taking photos of useless things, reading magazines, talking to the guide, but not once he turns to his family to take a photo with them nor to propose something. This behavior leads to a bad relationship with his wife and children. The worst thing is he doesn't notice that he is doing something wrong. Therefore, his wife cheats on him, his children get hurt, and he owns a boy that is not his.

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  10. I agree with the many who have shared their thoughts already. I believe that Mr. and Mrs. Das' indifference toward their children, which results in a looser bond in the family, is a big cancer in the Das family. However, I believe Mrs. Das' lack of love is the biggest and most dynamic cancer in the family. It is usually the mother who loves, takes care of the children, and bring the family together (since the father works,) but this family is completely lacking this. In fact, the mother has fallen out of love with life itself. After she found out the reality and all the responsibility that came with marriage, I think she started to stop caring and just simply gave up. Furthermore, the fact that nobody realizes and cares, especially Mr. Das, makes it harder for Mrs. Das to get back into shape to be a good mother for the family. Mr. Das is not very vigilant to the point where he doesn't realize that Mrs. Das made love to somebody else and conceived Bobby. As a result, the relationship and family health status in the Das family can only decline.

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  11. I fully agree with what most of the others have said, and believe that the biggest cancer in the Das family is the parent's apparent lack of interest in their children, as well as in each other. Mr. Das, for one, is rather blind, especially when it comes to the rest of his family. During the tour, instead of walking around with his wife and children and taking care of them, he was always off by himself, peering into his guidebook and taking photos. Likewise, Mrs. Das shows almost no affection towards her children. She treats them as if they are a burden, and simply wants to be rid of them. If one didn't know that the two were married, they would believe that they were complete strangers. The lack of both communication and affection between the two of them is the biggest cancer in their family. I believe that this so-called cancer stems from the fact that they were simply too young to get married. First of all, although they may have believed that they were in love at first, they were way too young to know for sure whether their attraction for each other was actually true love or not. Moreover, their marriage was not simply their choice. Due to the fact that their parents were best friends, the two were, in some aspects, almost pushed by their parents to start liking each other. I believe that if they had simply taken more time to get to know each other better before they got married, their marriage would have been more successful and the cancer would not exist.

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  12. I think that the cancer in the Das family dynamic is Mr. and Mrs. Das’s incompetency as parents. As many have said already in previous comments, there is a significant problem in communication among family members because each member is engulfed in their own world. Because Mr. Das is always behind his camera and tour book, he is blind and is unable to see that Mrs. Das has lost her love for him. Mrs. Das, responding to this disinterest, detaches herself from the whole family, including her children. This is seen in many places of the story especially when treating Tina, for example, when Tina asks Mrs. Das to put some nail polish on her, Mrs. Das responds with annoyance, saying that Tina is making her “mess up.” Tina, already accustomed to this kind of treatment, moves on to buttoning and unbuttoning the clothes of her doll. This leads me to point out another ‘cancer’ in the Das family dynamic. In the Das family, maturity does not come with age. Both Mr. and Mrs. Das are characterized as being very childlike in their behavior, “bickering” about who would take Tina to the bathroom, etcetera. On the other hand, Tina buttoning and unbuttoning her doll (whether it was innate quality or it was because this is how she wished to be treated), shows a very motherly side of her. Because the maturity level of each member does not fit the ones of their traditional roles, there is no order in the house thus bringing disunity.

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    1. Along with what Hyejoon said, it is seen that Mr. Kapasi is more a parent to the children then either of the Das'. You can see the concern when Tina is messing with the locks and the way he saves Bobby in end of the story while both Mr. and Mrs. Das just stand there and watch. Even Mr. Kapasi sees it in the story when he thought "It disturbed Mr. Kapasi to learn that she thought of him as a parent." Not only is he a parent to the children, but to Mrs. Das as well. He was the comfort, the father, that she needed to be able to open up to and get everything off of her chest. You see that "ignorance is bliss" where Mr. Das is so blinded by his text books that he does not notice the color or his own sons skin and the love that is not there any more from his wife.

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  13. The relationships that the members of the Das family have with each other are torn, hidden, and disconnected. The cancer in the family is formed because every member is unwilling to share their true inner feelings with one another. At the same time, each member is not interested in each other’s feelings. They keep their emotions confidential, and give their efforts to show no something else on the outside. Every member of the family at some point in the story is seen in a moment of isolation, where they have distanced themselves from what is happening around them. The father, Mr. Das, is seen taking pictures by himself, away from the rest of the family: “Mr. Das trailed behind, taking pictures” (Lahiri 70). The mother, Mrs. Das, munches on her puffed rice all to herself, without sharing it to anyone. The daughter Tina, being ignored by her mother, and plays with her tattered doll in the back seat of the car: “The little girl occupied herself by buttoning and unbuttoning a pinafore on the doll’s plastic body” (Lahiri 62). The two brothers, Ronny and Bobby, chew gum as they stare aimlessly into space. These short, subtle scenes show the disconnection between the family members, and that the members need a break from each other. There is no intimacy in the family, as a normal family should have. Instead, it is like a broken group of friends who secretly hate each other behind their backs.

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    1. Hi Jeanne,

      I quite like your comment, "every member is unwilling to share their true inner feelings with one another." I find it an astute observation. It's true that each member seems to act in solitude although joined as a family unit (possibly a nod to the treacherous nature of the American Dream?). Although sometimes this can be seen as a healthy as each member works toward their individual needs and there are no signs of co-dependency, Lahiri points towards this family dynamic as one that is flawed and unhealthy (evident by the examples you have laid out in your response above). I might add to your listed evidence that underscore the lack of openness and interest in personal reflection the instances in which Mrs. Das decidedly engages with some and not others on the basis that the respondent provides a mirror for her to see the situation (her infidelity) again through a rose-colored lens when she cannot do the same for herself. Her inability to take a sober look at her son, feel remorse for her infidelity, root out the source of her pain which may in fact be her guilt, her needs remain unanswered and so her malady 'unmedicated'.

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  14. As most of the comments above clearly state, the biggest plague inside the Das family is the obvious lack of interest in the children from the adults. In most cases that I've seen, parents are willing to sacrifice time, space and sometimes even their lives just for the sake of their children. This fact serves as a base for a big surprise as the father and mother in the Das family take their kids as more of a burden than a blessing. While they stay completely oblivious to these facts, Mr. Das behind a camera that blinds him, and Mrs. Das wondering about, searching happiness only for herself and willing to ignore other to do so. Ironically, Tina, in the opinion of most comments here and my own, is considered the most mature out of the entire family circle. Demonstrating her maturity by taking care of her doll, treating her as a human being and doing it far better than her parents are doing to her. The bottom line is that the adults in the Das family are too concerned with themselves and with what they see to fully understand what is hindering their family unit as a whole.

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  15. The lack of love between family members is the cancer of the Das family. Unlike most families in the world, Das family has no care for each other: stuck in the quagmire of comfort and self-happiness. Interestingly, there is no “talking” in the whole family. All I noticed in the story was them whining to each other, complaining about how the circumstances are not matching their wants. This is very unhealthy because family members usually come out of their comfort-zone for others. In addition, none of them care about how others feel about their action. For example, Mrs. Das doesn’t care about Tina’s feelings when rejecting to polish her nails. Mr. Das doesn’t care what Mrs. Das will go through when he doesn’t approach a talk with her. Mrs. Das doesn’t care about hiding the truth. The most-likely result of the continuation of this attitude is separation of the family.

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  16. The cancer of the Das family dynamic is the sparse amount of conversation they exchange with one another. When one pictures a stereotypical family, he pictures a group of people sitting at the dinner table while having a conversation about how each of their days were. This sort of interaction can not be seen among the members of the Das family. Rather than talking, they choose to avoid each other, and only converse when it is absolutely necessary. This may be the leading cause to their unhealthy lifestyle. For people, it is important for them to express their needs and problems. However, since the Das family keeps all of their problems inside, they are "compensated" with an unhealthy lifestyle.

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    1. Hi Nathan,

      Your response reminds me of the video we watched in class in which Alice Walker was interviewed by Travis Smiley on PBS and she had mentioned the need to listen in order to derail problems. In our story, 'Interpreter', as you said, although it is "important for them to express their needs and problems, ...the Das family keep all of their problems inside [and are thus] ...'compensated' with an unhealthy lifestyle. Although while reading this story, we might be tempted to minimize the impact of having little to no intimacy and the norming process of it in this family dynamic, the members of the family all seem to be in a state of unrest by having a personal desire that conflicts with what they are voicing or acting upon. Although seemingly harmless gestures, the effect of ignoring the pleas of a wife to get a taxi with air-conditioning, reducing the needs of your child to a dot of fingernail polish, assigning a child the responsibility of an adult - it becomes to take an abusive effect of the most subtle kind.

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  17. The cancer that afflicts the Das family is largely Mr. Das' oblivion and Mrs. Das' feelings of guilt. Mr. Das fails to see Mrs. Das' like of feeling for him or her family, and he continually pushes to try and make the visit to India enjoyable. Likewise, Mrs. Das' affair has caused her to feel guilty about her presence in her family, which causes her to be detached emotionally and very aloof.

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